Failures and disappointments are facts of life. No matter how prepared you might be, there are times when things just simply won’t go your way. So, how can you deal with small failures and disappointments that life offers? And more importantly, how do you help your kids learn to deal with their own small disappointments?
Well, it’s all about lifting your spirits. The easiest way you can teach your children this is by demonstrating it in the face of a setback and then talking them through what you’ve done (where appropriate). By using the following techniques, you can learn to bounce back and avoid being dragged down by every small failure you encounter and you can help your kids learn to do the same.
1. Keep being positive. Yes, it might be difficult to do right after you’ve experienced even a small failure but looking at what you’ve gained rather than on what you’ve lost will help you maintain a positive frame of mind. It’s not about deluding yourself into believing that what you’ve done was a success, but simply recognising the fact that there was something you gained from the experience.
2. Accept what happened and move on. You have to accept the fact that things happen and that you can’t always be in control. By acknowledging the fact that it happened you’ll be able to move on. This helps you avoid being bogged down when you think about what you could have changed. So, don’t focus on what happened because it’s in the past, accept it and move on to better things.
3. Laugh it all off. Use humour to make things feel less serious and to lighten the mood. When you are able to make fun of yourself and also make fun of the situation, everything feels less serious and negative feelings start to go away. Once you start laughing everything feels positive and you can start feeling the weight on your shoulders ease off.
Remember that while you may not be able to control everything that happens to you, you can always control how you respond. Learning this one important truism and passing that learning on to your children can literally change your world and theirs forever. It’s not an easy concept to grasp initially, but keep at it and you will be able to smile in the wake of defeat before you know it.
I came across an interesting Indian saying whilst researching this post that summed up the article nicely. Loosely translated it means:
Life is about always being like the flower that forgets it’s sorrow and continues to live life cheerfully It is not the smile on one’s face after one’s victories that count But smiling even after facing defeat that is what life is all about!
Do you have a special method of dealing with setbacks that life invariably throws at us? Please share it. You never know, your tip may just ring true with someone that needs a little extra help right now.