Balanced Leadership

balanced leadershipClose enough to relate and far enough ahead to motivate

Sitting on a bar stool this morning, an Alice in Wonderland theme appeared; my stool was too low for my laptop. I noticed how it feels to have your equipment out of sync. I reflect on the contrast of how wonderful it feels to have your daily tools at optimum levels.

It doesn’t surprise me now to know why I help others have powerful and empowering conversations. Simply, I was disempowered.

If you knew me 20 years ago, you would see how I imagined myself when I was younger was different to how I was living day to day. Gotta love contrast.

When in one relationship I recall I always felt powerless because whenever I wanted something different to my partner I voiced it in a way that seemed critical. I had incredible talent at thinking it was an outrageous request and I shouldn’t get it. That didn’t work for either of us. No surprise here.

I was constantly balancing on egg shells and thinking I wasn’t good enough….for what? I’m not sure. I like to be right as well so choosing a partner to confirm my powerlessness was perfect! I could, at least, be ‘right’. Right?

I’ve always worked out at gyms since the idea took over the world in the 80’s. OMG let’s get physical Olivia Newton John comes to mind…no-one google this vid I feel embarrassed thinking about it. Besides, looking back, she was too skinny and not a muscle in sight. The result is I increased my fitness and strength. And now I wanted to be emotionally fit to match.

Part of me was not aligned to my internal mantra of strength for longevity and comfort. I definitely feel much more comfortable when my tummy is flatter, I have more energy too because it means my digestion is on track, when that’s on track my emotions are usually steady or buoyant. So my digestion is usually a direct measure of my emotions. Something simple like not being “self-full” enough by working long hours and not taking a break for water I include here too.

Having no energy or enthusiasm especially when my little girls were 7 and 4 did my head in. I was trying so hard to be an authentic, kind good person and the best Mother ever. The more I tried the more insidious it looked to me from the inside and the more un-authentic and out of alignment it was to me. I needed to be real with compassion included. Compassion doesn’t always come in a loin cloth or a monastic magenta number.

Most of my life I consumed copious text on human behaviour and personal development perhaps more with a view to fix than live differently. ..Arghhhh (hindsight word). I called what I did Keystone (Interaction Skills) simply because of its architectural significance as the vital piece of an arch that we each walk through on the way to success, trust in teams, power, authenticity, significance, leaving a legacy, outstanding relationships….wherever.

Feeling weak and inauthentic was not how I saw myself. I discovered this learnable process language. This was my keystone. This is my why. I love helping others do this. As I share this the breadth and depth with which I learn increases too. Everyone in my life is my teacher.

Glyn

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Glyn Conlon

Workplace Communication Specialist at Keystone Skills
Glyn has 20 years experience in the personal development field and more recently Compassionate Communication (NVC) and Workplace and Assessment training. She also has 18 years experience in organisations with an understanding of consumer needs and perception.

Glyn is passionate about communicating the truth with care. She realised an unclaimed source of her own energy is when she can free herself from guilt. Once this freedom is reached she found she could think and communicate more simply and clearly with the courage to ask for what she wanted. Glyn now enables others to more easily have their message heard and the listener more readily agrees to their requests.
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